


The Bruce Wayne/Batman Fic You Never Asked For (Okay that's a lie, see the prompt)

by curlysupergirl



Category: Batman (Comics), Batman - All Media Types, Superman (Comics), Superman - All Media Types, Superman/Batman (Comics)
Genre: Crack, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Crack, Humor, M/M, Multi, crack!fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-01-08
Updated: 2017-01-08
Packaged: 2018-09-15 17:16:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 469
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9247580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/curlysupergirl/pseuds/curlysupergirl
Summary: Prompt: You won't believe who was spotted leaving Wayne Manor last night! Next up: Are Bruce Wayne and Batman secretly dating?Please give me the fic where Bruce Wayne is forced to make it look like he is having an affair with his own alter ego just to keep his secret identity safe.-----A/N If you see the prompt online, please comment with a link to this story!





	

 

Bruce stared at the TV in shock. Every news station across the nation, every paper in every newsstand, and every online magazine had the same headline. Apparently, this was bigger than the Brangelina split:

  
**BRUCE WAYNE SECRETLY** **DATING BATMAN**.  
BATMAN SPOTTED LEAVING WAYNE MANOR IN THE EARLY HOURS OF THE MORNING AFTER A STEAMY NIGHT WITH BILLIONAIRE PLAYBOY BRUCE WAYNE.

  
Thank God for idiots, right? At least none of these so called journalists came close to the truth.

His phone had been ringing off the hook.

“When were you gonna tell me that you're dating someone else, huh?”

“Diana, I'm… I'm Bruce! I'm not dating myself!”

“So now you're gay… or bisexual... or what?”

“Diana, I'm Bruce! I'm still dating you!”

“Fine, you can make it up to me tomorrow night.”

“Wait, I can't be seen with you right now or people are going to wonder why Batman was spotted leaving Wayne Manor. I have to ride this out for a little longer until I can come up with a plan.”

“We are done, Bruce. Done.”

“Wait, Diana! ...Di? ...Goddammit!”

____________________________________________

“Kent.”

“You…. HAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA… you…" Clark paused to gasp for air. "... you really did it this time! Diana called me up fuming. I don't know what the fuck she thinks she's talking about, but this is amazing. She's gonna murder you in your sleep.”

“Believe it or not, I have bigger problems at the moment.”

“Than a scorned Amazonian princess? This has got to be big.”

“It's actually related. I need you to wear the suit.”

“What?”

“I need you to wear the Batsuit.”

“Okay, fill me in a little more…?”

“I need Batman and Bruce Wayne to be seen in public together.”

“Hey man, I, I don't even look like you.”

“Your secret identity is a pair of glasses, Clark. If that fools people, how will anyone notice you through my mask? Besides, I just need your chin, farm boy.”

“Okay, pretty boy.”

“What did you just call me?”

“We're dating now, Honey. And I expect to be wooed.”

“Clark, you're married.”

“Yeah, Lois knows. She's been listening in on mute, laughing so hard she's crying. I'll be by you at eight.”

“Thank you. I owe you big time.”

“Oh you owe me so much more. Lois is taking Diana shopping tomorrow. Gotta get her mind off a certain male and his very delicate man-parts.”

“Lois! Thank. You. I promise to give your husband back in one piece, but if you ask me, he is just a little too excited about this. See you soon, Clark.”

Breaking news:  
**SUPERMAN SPOTTED LEAVING WAYNE MANOR AFTER PDA FILLED DATE BETWEEN BATMAN AND BRUCE WAYNE. IS BATMAN NOT ENOUGH FOR NOTORIOUS PLAYBOY BRUCE WAYNE? DOES BATMAN ALWAYS WEAR HIS MASK TO ROMANTIC OUTINGS?**  
MORE ON THE LOVE TRIANGLE SOON.

-Lois Lane

 

**Author's Note:**

> Leave a comment if you enjoyed and find me on tumblr here!  
> https://www.tumblr.com/blog/curlysupergirl


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